im at my lowest mental point right now. i cant stand myself with all this fat. i am now completely obese and i cant take it anymore, after my second child my brain just switched off and i turned to food for comfort and just ballooned out soo soo much i cant believe its me looking back in the mirror. i cry everytime i see myself and i cant take it anymore. i want to go through storage and dig out my old ana journal. im now married and i dont let my husband look at me longer than a minute without me feeling uncomfortable, and iv never let him see me naked and we have been together 4 years, married almost 1. i need my control back, i need to feel strong and know i can resist food once again.